by Ben Gilberti, H.W.,M.
 
Chapter 17 ~  Self Deception
 
The whole dream of duality is a self-deception. All of it. Every last bit of it. It's all nothing but self-deception. And to be thinking you are climbing out of the dream by trying to solve it like a murder mystery is merely more self-deception. To be thinking, "Oh, I'm working so hard towards attainment of the Realization of God, with hours of meditation, more hours of study, practicing the presence and nothingizing and impersonalizing all day" is also merely more self deception.
 
If you think you're something other than God, you're simply deceiving yourself. It isn't anyone else that's deceiving you, it isn't a "universal mass-consciousness belief in duality" that's deceiving you. No. There isn't ANYTHING outside of YOU. Not even "universal mass-consciousness belief in duality." There simply isn't anything else around that could be doing it to you. No. You are doing it to yourself. You are deceiving yourself.
 
Notice how we recoil a bit at the sound of all this. We immediately want to say, "NO, NO, NO, it's not all MY Fault!"
 
Well, no, it's not your fault. There is no fault. The self-deception was only a fantasy, an illusion, and it had no reality whatsoever. It was nothing but a dream and what went on in the dream never really happened. So there is nothing that ever went on that could be anyone's fault. God was always the only thing really going on. Nothing else. THAT's why it's not your fault! You didn't do anything wrong. Your self-deception didn't create anything but a dream, it never harmed or jeopardized or destroyed or injured anything in any way, it was all a dream that never happened.
 
But so long as you DO think it IS happening, as long as you do think that the dream has some reality to it, then you might as well know that the entire dream is your own self-deception.
 
You are God. There is nothing else. The entire dream of something else is an illusion. God knows this. And you know this. So what is it that gets you to believe otherwise? Something OTHER than YOU? No. You know full well there isn't anything other than you. Well, then, there's nothing left BUT you! What is it that gets you to believe otherwise? YOU do!
 
Now why would you do that? You certainly make a big show of all this Infinite Way study and practice, all this hard work that's involved in realizing that you are God. But you are the only one who is getting you to believe you're anything other than God! It has to be you because there ain't anyone else around! And here you are doing all this spiritual discipline work to discover and correct whatever it is that is getting you to believe that you are something other than God. No. It's all a self deception to avoid the fact that it is simply YOU who are CHOOSING to believe that God is not all there is.
 
After all, you do really know better. You already know that God IS all there is. So it just wouldn't make any sense for YOU, who already knows God IS all there is, to decide to believe that God IS NOT all there is and create a nightmare of distress, limitation and fear. So you deceive yourself into believing that it isn't really YOU but that it's something else other than you, a "universal mass-consciousness belief in duality," and you're going to have to spend thousands of hours of meditation and nothingization before you can really get yourself free of this "universal mass-consciousness belief in duality" and once again experience yourself as you really are -- God.
 
It's all baloney. You're simply deceiving yourself. Why not admit it? Because you don't want to feel guilty? You're not guilty. You're not doing anything wrong. The dream doesn't affect God in any way whatsoever. And God is all there is. Stay in the dream as long as you want. It still isn't going to diminish God one bit. And God is all there is. So go ahead and stay in the dream if you want to. There's no rush. Take 20 years if you want to. There's nothing wrong with that. But don't deceive yourself into believing that if it were up to you, you would wake up instantly to the full realization of your Divinity, but you can't because something's holding you back and it's going to take thousands of hours of meditation and practicing the Infinite Way before you're going to be able to overcome what's holding you back.
 
Nothing's holding you back. You are deliberately choosing to believe in duality. It's not happening to you. You are the only source. You are deliberately choosing to create the dream of duality you experience as your human life. The dream of duality appears as your life simply because you chose to believe in duality. Simply because you chose to believe that God is NOT all there is.
 
You don't have to figure out why you chose to believe this. It doesn't matter, because your choice to believe in duality DID NOT CREATE duality. The whole point of all this is that God remains absolutely and completely all there is no matter how much consciousness dreams of something other than God. Dreams about something other than God have always been, are now, and always will be NOTHING, and therefore completely HARMLESS.
Don't be so busy trying to change the dream. Just look at it differently. Realize that you ordered it up and that no matter what happens it can't hurt you or anyone else even the slightest bit. Look at it that way and let it be. Realize it's a dream about nothing and let it be. Realize that all the while, no matter what goes on in the dream, you are nothing but God being all there is.
 
Nobody else has to know. Only you. You don't have to change a thing. Leave it all alone. Let it all be. Just know you are God being all there is and the dream means nothing.
 
Another way to look at all this is to simply know that you are not the appearance you make in the dream. You are not in the dream for the purpose of awakening yourself. You are already awakened. You already know that God is all there is. You already know that you are God. You just keep getting deceived by the dream role you have. The dream role is simply not what you are. You are not the appearance you make in the dream. You're not the dream role. You are God. It doesn't matter how much your dream role still appears in the dream, it doesn't alter the fact that you are not the dream role. You are God.
 
You see, you already do know that you are God. It is the clearest thing, in fact, that you do know. God is all. There can't be anything else. Anything other than God simply isn't. It's not at all unclear. God is beingness itself. Nothing can be unless it's God. There is nothing other than beingness. Anything other than beingness is not being. It's couldn't be clearer. You're problem has nothing to do with increasing your understanding. You problem only has to do with your being deceived by the role you have in the dream.
 
You have been thinking that because you still have a physical body and still have to eat and sleep, and because you still have to do all sorts of things to take care of this body properly, and because your body is very limited in scope and ability, you have not yet attained full realization of what you really are. But that thought alone is what is giving you the feeling that you are enslaved to the role you happen to have in this dream. It's just your dream role. It's not you. You are God. The dream role is just a dream role. So stop resisting it. As soon as you begin releasing your resistance to the dream role you have, as soon as you stop wanting to change it, you will begin to feel less and less limited by it.
 
Sit and contemplate this in meditation, everything you know about yourself that identifies you as a particular human being is pure dream role, none of it is what you are. It doesn't matter in the least bit what the fabric of that dream role happens to be, whether that of a saint or a sinner, either way, the dream role is simply a dream role and isn't what you are.
 
God is not the greatest saint in the world. God is God and any great saint is simply a role in the dream. There are no saints in heaven. God is God and any sinner is simply a role in the dream. There are no sinners in heaven.
 
Heaven is not a dream. There are no dream characters whatsoever in heaven. Nothing of the dream is in heaven. The entire dream is the fantasy of duality. The whole dream is about duality and nothing but duality. Heaven is pure oneness with not the slightest hint of duality.
Nothing of the dream is in heaven, except you. And nothing in heaven is in the dream, except you. You are heaven on earth. And you are the only thing on earth that is in heaven. Stop judging yourself by appearances. The appearances are only dream stuff that has no reality. You already know that very clearly. So stop judging yourself by appearances. Stop letting the appearance of the role you play within the dream deceive you in to thinking that that role is what you are. No. You couldn't come into the dream except that you assume a human identity, but the human identity is not what you are. You are not the appearance you make in the dream.
 
You are not a human being who is trying to discover his God-self. That too is just a role in the dream and it isn't what you are. Neither does it matter how "devoted" to God you are or how much you "hate" God; that too would just be a dream role in the dream.
 
The entire dream is an illusion. Stop trying to hammer at the dream to get it to behave more like God. Let the dream be what it is, the dream of duality. Stop trying to change the dream into heaven. Heaven already is. Making a parallel rendition of heaven within the dream of duality, no matter how sublime, could only be a dream about heaven and not heaven itself.
 
All that we call good within the dream is merely our dream about heaven, not heaven itself. And since it's a duality dream, our dream about heaven naturally requires that there be hell, too. The real Heaven, however, is not a dream. Heaven is reality. The dream is illusion. Don't try to change the dream. The dream is totally meaningless because the dream is the dream of duality and there is no duality. Nothing fantasized about duality can have any meaning whatsoever. Nothing that identifies you as a person within the dream has any meaning whatsoever. The only thing that has any meaning about you is that you are God. Isn't that enough? The dream role you play in the dream means absolutely nothing at all. So stop being deceived by the appearance of your dream role.
 
It doesn't matter one iota how much your dream role is appearing or what it is appearing as, it still is only a dream role and isn't what you are. So stop trying to change the dream role. The dream role is nothing. There is nothing there for you to change.
 
Trying to change it keeps engaging you into believing it is real. And the whole point of all this is for you to stop creating the illusion that anything other than God is real. The more you keep trying to change the role you play in the dream, the more you engage yourself in believing the role is real, the more you engage yourself in believing that something other than God is real, and hence the more you create the dream of duality. Contemplate this in your meditations. You are not the appearance you make in the dream. Notice all the things you think you are -- human, physical, limited, habitual, having desires and aversions, always trying to figure out and understand and so on. Don't try to change any of it. Let it all be. But just keep realizing: "I am not this. This is just my role in the dream. I am God."
 
After you do this for a while, you will feel like you are sitting in perfect peace in a location in space that coincides with your head. Don't stop there. Continue. You evidently are believing that you are consciousness occupying a particular area of space. You are not the appearance you make in the dream. You are God. God is all. There is nowhere where God is not. God is everywhere. Your experience of being in a particular location is not what you are. It is just part of the human identity role you are playing in the dream. Don't resist it. Don't try to change it. Don't try to imagine what it would be like if your human identity experience of limited consciousness were to expand out to fill all space. That's trying to re-engineer the dream to fit heaven's blueprint. Your business is not to create a rendition of heaven in the dream, but to wake up to the real heaven that already exists.
 
Quit trying to use your knowledge of Truth to fix the dream. Simply use your knowledge of truth to wake up from the dream. Use your knowledge of Truth to realize that you are not anything connected with the role you play in the dream. Use your knowledge of Truth to realize that you are God no matter what your role identity in the dream happens to be.

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