Of The Many Roles I Play...
by Dr. Derek Lamar, QM21.com
This column will pick up the pieces right where I left off. Time knows no distance and like a jig-saw puzzle you only need to collect the edges to form the outline of the picture that you desire to complete. It seems like I have been on the edge enough times that the picture should be complete by now. But as I mentioned in the last chapter of this ongoing saga, I had come to realize that “writing” or conveying metaphysical knowledge, insights and instruction was now upon me like some hidden past life had been awakened within me.
I went on a couple of fasts during this time because I needed to lose weight and I had read some books on the subject. I went on two forty days fasts consisting of water only. It was a fascinating experience. I didn’t have any “visions” like some people have reported but I did feel changed after each event. After my first fast I took forty days of a reentry program to reintroduce my body to food again. After that I began my second fast. I ended up at 171 lbs., which was a little thin for me even at that time. What I didn’t really understand was that when you fast you lose one third water, one third fat, and one third muscle tissue. This is why you have to be careful what you are doing so as to not damage the body. I had youth in my favor. I was only 34 at the time. Yeah, I call that “youth” now.
My whole being was surging with energy at this point. I began to search for a place I should “be.” I was pulsing with an energy that was propelling me inwardly to move me outwardly. I needed to find an outlet for the “Teaching” which was bubbling under the surface and needed to be presented to other people. I would go for walks and meet people and have conversations with them and I tried to keep my mind open to any opportunity that could be an opening to teach. I met someone who I thought was a gardener outside a church in West Hollywood near Santa Monica and San Vicente. We would exchange hello’s and eventually had conversations. I asked him about the church and it turned out he actually played the piano there. I wanted to know if the church had any rooms for rent where I could teach classes. He said that he didn’t think so but they had a bible study group on Wednesday’s that I should come check out. Not what I was looking for but I felt obligated to go simply because I was seeking a “place” and here it was. As I continued my weekly visits to the Bible study I began to become more involved in discussions as I contributed information which was in my own manner but which many of the people there seem to be open to. After a few weeks, the pastor, amidst one of his prayers after the Bible Study, gave thanks for being able to help those who were “passing through the church on their way”. I was dumbfounded. He was actually praying for me to leave. So I left. But actually it was a very good experience and educational beginning. I realized that as the “Pastor” he represented “authority” in that situation and this was “Mind’s way” of telling me it was time to move on.
I wasn’t going to be delayed in my journey and I started going through the Yellow Pages checking out what facilities actually rented space. Almost immediately, under “Rooms For Rent” I found a listing at the Thomas Institute of Metaphysics. I gave them a call and someone told me that I would have to speak with Dr. Thomas. I talked with him and asked him if he had a room for rent where I could teach “Metaphysical Bible Classes.” He said yes, but that perhaps he had a situation that wouldn’t require rent. It turned out that he let me teach there at the Institute and split the money I received with the organization. Also the classes I presented would become part of the required courses for those who were seeking ordination at the Institute since the person who had been giving “metaphysical Bible classes” had left and they needed someone to give these classes now at this time. You can imagine my reaction to this. Incredible manifestation of exactly what I needed without even costing me anything.
I began by giving lectures during their “Psychic Fairs”. They would have these events once a month and the faculty would donate their time during these fairs to help and also possibly gain new students for their classes. Being that this was my first time out as a “public speaker” I was scared to death. They say that “public speaking” is one of man’s greatest fears. I was no exception. I remembered that in the private Fourth Way school I had gone to that many of the instructors, as well as the Teacher, had prepared notes which they literally read in the presentation of their classes and many of the lectures. So I decided that I would write my classes out word for word and that if worse came to worse, I could then resort to reading my notes. When the time came I finally decided to simply give myself abundant notes that would jog my memory as to the topic at hand and I knew that for each phrase I could speak on that subject for 10 minutes or so and then move on to the next notes. But it was like being a bird falling out of a nest and suddenly I found I was moving my wings and I could fly. From the very start I was plugged in and operating full of energy with the readiness to communicate. Usually my tapes would show a little nervousness for five or ten minutes and then it would smooth out.
This whole experience was all new to me. Having been in only one school I only knew the particulars of that “mind set.” I also had read many books but only books that related directly to that line of teaching. This particular organization was very much immersed in the occult and very much followers of Ascended Masters and the teachings of Alice Bailey. After several weeks of Teaching I was finally asked to give a Sunday lecture. I felt very complimented and prepared a talk for that coming Sunday. I had not yet been to one of their services before and was shocked in the rituals with the incense and the affectations of relieving the room of evil spirits and the like including the acting out of standing in the light and drawing pentagrams upon the floor with one’s foot, etc. I didn’t want to laugh out loud but I was amused as much as I was disconcerted. The caretaker, a young man named Don Johnson, loved to share his thoughts and his musings of the goings on in the Institute. He encouraged me to somehow act up or give the others a good talking to as to the immaturity displayed in much of their activity but I laughed and said: “You don’t tease the lions when you are in the cage.”
In my early training I learned “Of the many roles I play in life these are not my Real Self, what I am is Consciousness which is not of the many roles I play.” In understanding this one can escape the confinement of human mind and the limitations that millions of years of human history puts on a planet still wrestling with its destiny to emerge from the egg which holds it hostage. But it is a path that begins with one step at a time.
Saga continues... 99 Miles From L.A.
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