Grand Opening of a Metaphysical School
by Dr. Derek Lamar, QM21.com
Opening a “school” is actually simple in some ways. It is opening oneself that causes the difficulty. Even though you know that is what you desire to do you must wrestle with your own inner voices that always know better about the desires of the heart and how things should be done. So you continue to observe yourself and remember your self. Remembering yourself in Fourth Way fashion means to know that sense of “I AM” which has no time, space or change as its reality but rather Eternity as one’s template where one’s inner voices are not harsh, but firm.
None the less you try to carry on as if life is normal even though you must analyze every moment of the day and attempt to remain open to any floating insights which are those that are providing you with important information like, “Hey, don’t be careless in your impatience simply because you are working so hard, that carpet knife is sharp you know.” So you call it simple foolishness because you are paying attention even if now not to the warning riding in on the wind.
I had all of the chairs lined up in the room perfectly. Until each time when I would look at them and find something out of place and I would rush over to straighten things. I felt like a little girl waiting for my first dance. Finally a bell attached to the front door clanked as someone entered. It was John Lovelace. We had met John after we began putting the school together. Joe Sparks knew Nevit Ergin and that crowd and everyone, of course, knew someone else. John had been involved in the past with several people into Fourth Way and other metaphysical ideas in what they referred to as the “Dixie Yeterian Group.” I would learn later that John’s grandfather, Lake, had been one of the founders of the famous “Racquet Club” in Bakersfield which still remains in its stead along side a bronze tribute to Lake Lovelace’s influence and perseverance in getting that tennis project off the ground.
Build A School And The People Will Come
There hadn’t been a lot of metaphysical activity in Bakersfield but the “Yeterian Group” touched the lives of many people who had opened up to a knowledge of Universal consequences and found each other for a moment in time. Others soon began arriving. Kermit Williams was there. We had met Kermit during one of the lectures at the Beale Library. Kermit was into just about everything. I was never sure if he was totally dedicated to the discovery of new ideas or if at least a little part of him liked to taunt those in his community with his “strange and weird ideas.” You see, Kermit is an African-American who had served and been injured in the military and lived with his brother together in their ethnic community. Now these types of communities are creative and often have had to stand the test of time and traverse many a storm to survive and usually as their core was a traditional gospel church where everyone tended to make it known how they felt about your current state of affairs. Praise the Lord. Well, Kermit, found that there sometimes could exist a little bit of hypocrisy, perhaps a little more than he enjoyed, so he did have his humor and his outlook of “shock and awe” by making it generally known his wide and varied travels into the realms of the unknown: be it metaphysics, the occult, ghosts, demons, flying saucers, time machines, powers behind the scenes, conspiracies, you name it. I love Kermit. During this time he almost always came joined with his cane and his sailor hat.
Barry Haggard arrived; Nevit Ergin not long afterwards; Joe Sparks and his friend Robyn Dixon. There was astrologer Georgeann Kirkpatrick and her friend Faye and astrologer Bonnie Parker. Also there was Nevit’s son Emre and Joe Sparks’ sister Laurie. And a few others began filing in. I had invited probably about 70 people but the lion’s share was in the L.A. area and they just weren’t into an adventure that far from home. It wasn’t a sold out house but it was a happy one and a great beginning. The opening music came to a close and I welcomed everyone there.
"It's Going To Be A Bumpy Night" ~ Bette Davis
I have listened to the tape of the opening a few times but in listening to it before this article I realize that in my nervousness perhaps I was a little defensive. I had begun attacking the “New Age Movement” a little too much. A little too much because 80% of those there were probably very supportive of the “New Age” concepts, as am I, but they weren’t ready to spin it around and look at the other side of things. I could have been a little gentler perhaps. My point was in describing the difference between the “New Age” Institute in which I had been teaching in Los Angeles and what in “The Ontological Learning Center,” a Fourth Way school, would be presenting. I tried to convey that it was somewhat of a negative approach. Now to most Gurdjieff followers they probably, at least, thought they understood this. But I am not sure I got that idea across. For most people it is truly a breakthrough to begin by knowing there is an incredible Reality that is super positive in contrast to the negative everyday world we live in. But my point was to contrast, those who pretend that life is wonderful, but never willing to look at the negative side of things in order to understand the underlying reflection that indicates where, in their own life, they need to do “Work.”
I made it through the rough spot of attacking the “New Age Movement”, because of my own frustration dealing with others in that venue. The talk began to unfurl and it seemed much less combative and I was able to present the need for people to engage in being aware of both the negative as well as the positive aspects in order to use that information to make leaps in Consciousness. Our world is a mirror. It reflects not only ourselves but the collective of humanity but specifically as it pertains to our own “Work,” we must deal with it as actually being a part of our own belief system and hold that up to a Higher Understanding of what we have learned “Reality” to be. And then let the misinformation and misunderstood reality fall into the nothingness from whence it came. It is similar to understanding mathematics and taking 2 + 2 and adding them together and understanding it is 4. We know that it is four. But when we get 5 we have to go back and see were our error in addition was and let go of that error because the “Principle” of mathematics reveals the Truth which is the same “Yesterday, Today and Forever.”
Too often in metaphysical circles people want to believe that you can hope for things to get better and if you hope hard enough your dream will come true. Sometimes this can work if you start to believe more strongly in good things happening than in bad things happening and that overpowers your previous negative belief. But in that sense, you did in fact re-do the math and choose the positive over the negative or the true over the false. A lot of what happens in mystical circles is the believing in one thing until you are too tired to believe in anything else. And that works simply out of sheer force of consciousness because it is true that “we get what we put out.” And in doing so, what we have is our putting out there our belief system and then receiving what it is we believe in, what we are putting out. This is why when we are not getting what we want in our life, we need to find the beliefs within ourselves that are contrary to what the outcome is that we desire.
Oneness is discussed in the talk and how it is through this Oneness that all that we believe or experience is produced. In “Reality” everything is connected. This is why our thoughts have an affect on our lives and the lives of others because there is only Oneness. That Oneness is Mind; it is Consciousness. Everything is connected because it is all a part of the same Mind thinking and expressing those thoughts out and back. We stand over in the corner of our mind and we observe all of that going on, on planet earth, on the moon, imagining it on the other side of the sun, or maybe near Alpha Centauri and in actuality it is going on in our mind. It is going on only in Mind. There is no physical universe but rather a universe made of “mind stuff” which we paint with the belief system of physicality and interpret it with all of the rules we have learned over millennia.
"2 + 2 = 5"
Our journey must be one of learning what the Truth is and what it is that we believe which is false. In that way we can hold one up to the other and allow only Truth to operate in our lives instead of letting false concepts, beliefs in limits, concepts of illusion, faith in failure, held back by insecurity, erroneous ideas about our selves. All of these things adding up to be 2 + 2 = 5 and thus never achieving anything for us because the numbers in our calculator of personal beliefs are all out of whack.
So at this point I begin to explain to the group what the point of the “School” was. In Gurdjieff terms, as it relates to his teaching, “The Fourth Way”, the point of the “School” is to create an atmosphere where people come together to “wake up.” One must first realize that they are “asleep” and then they can begin to “wake up.” But if you do not realize you are “asleep” you will never be able to “wake up” because you won’t know that there is anything to wake up from.
"The Hall of Mirrors"
Now, most of the talk flows alright in terms of the structure of what was being said but I realized that there was an undercurrent going on there which was an undercurrent energy which would have to be dealt with in the ensuing years. What I discovered was that there was a difference in expressing what you know because you know it versus expressing what you know in hopes that people will discover that you know something. So, in this stage of the talk during the opening I am introducing the Gurdjieff concept called “The Hall of Mirrors.” For myself, I had to utilize this long after I had the school and to observe myself, not just in how I performed but what was it I was feeling at the time and what were my intentions. Now my intentions were noble and forthright but that doesn’t mean that there wasn’t something going on inside of me that needed to be dealt with as it pertained to the process of knowing my self.
And this was why I kept dwelling on the faults of others who focused too much on pretending to be positive instead of being open to deal with the negative in order that a refiling take place emotionally within one’s consciousness. I was having my own reflection projected out into “my world” and I received it back in the form of rejection because I had not accepted myself. I was still rejecting myself on some level, for some reason, about something that had to do with who I was and why I felt the way that I did about myself. It had nothing to do with what I knew or my abilities or the quality of the teaching I was presenting but it had everything to do with the consciousness that couldn’t fully accept itself. I wanted to be accepted by others because I did not accept myself. I discovered later that I did not accept myself because I felt that my parents did not accept me. In believing that, I accepted it as true. Not only did they not accept me, but they didn’t accept me because there was something wrong with me. I was not “worthy.”
Well, I was able to keep that buried but like a zombie it would continue to rise up and occasionally haunt me and wreak havoc with my state of mind and also in my ability to accomplish all that I desired to accomplish. It wouldn’t matter what it was. Maybe I couldn’t sell something. Maybe I couldn’t get the job I wanted. Maybe I felt like I had failed in some project. But the emotions, when I would trace them back to that pit in my stomach invariably it would reveal that: “I felt there was something wrong with me.” At this point what does one do? Well first they must lash out within their consciousness, in their emotional state, at all those who make him or her feel this way. Get those emotions out. Exhaust all of that energy until you feel that you have accomplished that. Then you must look at your memories and your sense of self and discover where you have felt that before and discover patterns and see where you have felt that way before; and then before that. And then you must trace it back until you reach the source of that feeling and the confusion that caused you to believe that 2 + 2 = 5. Which means what was the false conclusion you formed from a given incident that caused you to believe a lie about yourself instead of the “Truth.”
The Truth, of course, was that who you really are, who you are as Consciousness, as Mind, as the “I AM”, as the “I AM THAT I AM” is what Reality is and Reality is Whole, Complete and Perfect. You are this Reality because there is only One Mind and you are that One Mind. There wasn’t anything wrong with you. There was no way you could be imperfect because nothing in “Reality” is imperfect. “Reality” is 2 + 2 = 4. It does not wake up one day and decide that it is “5.” And neither does error somehow become true in your world. That is just illusion for whatever reason and you experience it, you feel it, you trace it back, you argue it through, you hold it up to Reality and you let go of the belief in error and realize the “Truth” of who you really are.
Saga continues: An Ancient School In A Modern World
Ancient America... Egypt... Asia... India... Ireland... Greece... Atlantis... Lemuria... Hollow Earth... a distant fog... winds blowing from continent to continent... clouds circling in wisps above the atmosphere... lights shining from a distance... the mind wanders wherever you choose to go... and withdraws in the face of retreat...
Return to Blackboard cover page.
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